Bribe and Groom

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I''ll give you $100 if you''ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I''m supposed to promise to ''love, honor and obey'' and ''be faithful to her forever,'' I''dappreciate it if you''d just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom''s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:

"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom''s hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

Rooftop Bar & Restaurant in Bangkok (Sirocco)

Jokes Of Mr.Bean

Have a Good Laugh!!!


1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!




2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!




3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!



4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!





5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!